I thought I might dive a little deeper into the things I said in my Young Lady post when I briefly discussed turning 30 this year. I could be wrong, but judging from the comments I hear under the breath of the people around me, I think a lot of people are scared to turn 30. In all the 10 years of my 20’s, a loose phrase that’s remained constant in attempts to instill knowledge or urgency within budding adults is “Start now, do it while you’re still young … because before you know it, you’ll be 30.” As a result, I used to think I’d be afraid of 30 when the time came; whether it’d be because I’d feel old, or I’d come to a horrific realization of how little I’d accomplished by then, or because I’d no longer be able to plead the “I’m just young” case. Time has proven otherwise for me, however, and I’m actually very excited about 30.
It’s not the fact that I still think I look like a 12-year-old (because I do), or that I feel I’ve sufficiently achieved any major life goals (as a matter of fact I actually expected a lot more of myself in my 20’s haha), but rather, because I feel that now more than ever, I am in the right mental space I need to be in, in order to achieve said major life goals. Getting all of that “young, wild, and free” spirit out in my 20’s has solely left me with an incredible yearning to realize my dreams (aching to the point of physical pain), while finally becoming a (somewhat) responsible adult has allowed me the resources to do so.
Even though the person I was 5 years ago is so far gone, I still remember what that person was like. And even though the “me” now would hardly hang out with the “me” then (not regularly at least), I have no regrets. Ultimately, I believe things happen the way they need to for an individual, because we are in charge of our own lives. Whatever is, is what you have allowed to be, and so you shall learn as you do, as you allow yourself to. Some people are blessed with an acute focus, I was blessed with a burning desire to try all things. With that came spurts of intense focus, but on too many different things. My 20’s have been spent losing myself, finding myself, defining and redefining/rediscovering myself over and over and over. Now, as I approach 30, I feel more in touch with myself than I ever have.
And to think 24-year-old me thought I was hyper self-aware. Lol. Kids these days.
I’m very proud of the person I’ve become, but more excited about the person I will soon be. So bring it on 30, I’ve got 29 years of hard earned experience to kick you in the ass. 😉24 awesome people like this post