Nothing can ever really prepare you for the loss of a loved one, and it never gets easier. You will always wish you had more time, wonder if you could have done more, and pray that you knew all the answers, so that your heart, mind, and soul could be at peace. It’s easy to be more idealistic when you don’t actually see them pass, but when you see the life of someone or something that you love, leave their body right before your eyes, while they’re in your arms, it’s different. There is no physical indication that their soul just grew its wings, no proof of heaven, and sadly, I may regret saying this one day, but there is nothing glorious about it.
Does this stop me from believing there is a heaven? No. Because I am a true optimist and believer in something undefinable and greater, and maybe its glory is just something that can’t be seen with our human eyes.
Seeing a physical life end provokes every single question that you could ever imagine about life and death to scurry about in your mind at 1000mph, all within a moment’s time. The emotions it arouses are both unfathomable and indescribable. As you see them breathe their last breath, the only real lesson you are reminded of is how fragile life is; one second they’re here, the next second they’re gone. Literally. There are no answers or revelations that suddenly come, like “It’s okay, they’re in heaven now”, because all you know is they’re no longer here with you in this physical life.
The only way I’ve been able to bring myself peace in light of these moments, is I make sure that the ones I love who are still with me, I cherish, appreciate, and love them with every fiber of my being, with every ounce of my soul. And I do my best to help them become the best possible person they can be. So that one day, when I or they pass, I can feel just a little bit more fulfillment about my time with them. So that if there is a heaven, like I believe there is, then they have made it, and I will make it too, to be with them again one day.
My acts of love every single day, are not because I expect love back, or merely because I was taught to be kind. My acts of love are what bring me peace every day, despite not knowing all the answers. They are what reassure me that I can live with as close to no regrets as possible, and that life will one day feel complete, not unfinished or unanswered.
Love one another. Whether it be your family, friends, significant others, or pets…just love. Make it so there is peace in this world. Because even if I’m wrong, even if there is no heaven or existence beyond this, if there is love in this life and in this world, we can make it as close to our idealistic “heaven” as we have the power to. This way, we don’t fear what happens after this life.
If you as a human being have the capacity to love, then for heaven’s sake, use it. I wish you all a blessed day, and please remember to love, always.
* This entry is dedicated to Melissa, Addy, James, Chubby, & Midge *
Rest in paradise. You all are still very much alive in my heart. I’ll see you again soon.0 Be the first to like this post :)